Posted by To my dearest Rebekah,
We made it! I guess I always knew this day would come, and of course I consider myself lucky that you have reached 18! You are no longer a baby, toddler, young girl or young teenager but instead a beautiful young adult. I did my best all of the way. I know sometimes I screwed up, and other times I feel like I did the right thing. Hopefully, through all of it, there has been way more good than bad, and you feel loved and adored. I feel so much love from you, which makes me so incredibly lucky. You have one of the kindest hearts I know. Happy 18th birthday, Sweetheart! I don’t know if you feel any different today than you did yesterday. Maybe you should. Today is the day you enter legal adulthood, the day that you can legally vote (please take the responsibility seriously and approach the voting booth well-informed and skeptically optimistic), purchase alcohol, and purchase lottery tickets (You have better, more productive things to do with your money. Trust me).
Turning 18 is a pretty big deal. This isn’t your run-of-the-mill birthday. You only turn 18 once, after all. So on this momentous day of celebration, I thought I would write you a very personal letter. Sure I’m posting it to the internet for all the world to see, but you should be used to that by now. This is kind of my M.O.
Today, 18 years ago, you were born through c-section and Nanny was beside me. I remembered the look on her face, she was beaming with a huge smile and said, “She has a sweet little cry”, and when the nurse placed you on my chest, I cried and the first words came out, “She’s beautiful!” From that moment on, my life evolved around you. There was nothing I wouldn’t do to keep you safe. That moment of your birth was the day I realized I wasn’t alone in the universe. I had you.
I look at you with awe sometimes, wondering how you could possibly be mine. It is sometimes difficult for me to reconcile the confident, poised, articulate woman I see before me now with the blonde and blue eyes little girl who put a 6 pack Bundy Rum cardboard on the head, get dirty and loved Bob The Builder and playing Barbies saying the F word. But here you are, so thoughtful, generous and dedicated. And the deep love and closeness you have for your crazy, kind, and lover of animals little sister.
I feel like I should be writing this to impart some important and practical life advice, but it isn’t necessary. The truth is you astound me with your maturity and tenacity, with your bold sense of purpose, and a wisdom beyond your years. You’ve proven to be trustworthy and prudent and responsible and all of the things that people your age usually aren’t. Honestly, you’re a better person than I was at 18. Heck! You’re a better person than I am now, at least on most days.
Oh what the heck, just a teeny tiny advice. There are lots of decisions you will make on your own now. Some will be the right choices, and others will be wrong; but you can only learn from those and become a better person. In life, it is our mistakes that generally help us grow the most. Be sure to leave your comfort zone, and try lots of things in university and after as well. Travel and I mean travel more. Meet new friends. Try new foods (even the spicy ones). Don’t be afraid of a broken heart or being single if that is where life takes you at certain times. You will learn more from yourself than anyone else, and once you truly love who you are, you can offer that love to a partner, children, extended family and friends. You don’t have to rush any of this — it is all up to you.
Never forget: Wherever your next steps take you, you are always just a heartbeat from home. I will always be with you. Our relationship will change now as I have taught you all I think you need to thrive both physically and spiritually. I have disciplined you when it was necessary and given you the tools I thought would help you most in your life. Use everything wisely, but know I am here to offer advice and my unconditional love and friendship to you all of the time.
Welcome to the adult world, Baby! I can’t wait to see what Life has in store for you. Or maybe I can’t wait to see what you have in store for Life. Either way it’s going to be an exciting ride. I love you deeply and can’t wait to see where your heart takes you. I know you’ll make it beautiful. That is certainly what you’ve made mine. I already miss you as I know you started letting go of my hand years ago, but in my heart I will always be holding yours.
And now I am likely to lose myself in a fit of nostalgia and a large bottle of wine. Here’s to you, my wonderful, fabulous, beautiful daughter! I am proud beyond words to be your mother. Just remember that no matter which roads you choose to travel, I will always be your number one fan.
Love you,
Mum xo
Cynthia A. The life of a deaf introvert! 